count down

So I jacked this from another blog. Just a big countdown.

10 things you wish you could say to 10 different people
1. I really do regret meeting you.
2. Just because we work together does not mean you need to tell me yoru life story. Shut up!
3. Your Debbie Downer ass makes me want to jump off a bridge when I hear you.
4. I don't answer my phone or call you back because I don't like you.
5. I feel sorry for your new boyfriend, pyscho.
6. I love you.
7. You need therapy.
8. You are way to picky...
9. We aren't friends anymore cuz you are dysfunctional.
10. I really never meant to hurt you.

9 things about yourself
1. I think I need therapy, sometimes.
2. I hate Keyshia Coles voice! It sounds like nails against a chalkboard in my ears.
3. I am an optimist dressed in a cynics clothes.
4. I really do believe in love, I'm just scared of it.
5. I'm so over the DMV.
6. I love to eat hate to cook.
7. I have great friends.
8. I need a job.
9. I'm over this section of the countdown.

8 ways to win my heart
1. Be conscious.
2. Understand Erykah Badu's song Master Teacher.
3. Be honest.
4. Be intuitive.
5. Be forward.
6. Court Me
7. Actually listen to me, know really.
8. Love yourself!

7 things that cross my mind a lot
1. My future children
2. My purpose in life
3. My family
4. Him
5. The adversities of little black girls
6. How the universe came to be.
7. My future in general

6 things I do before I go to sleep
1. Brush my teeth
2. Watch a lil tv
3. Pray and meditate
4. Make any last calls
5. Daydream
6. something else i don't care to name :-)

5 people I couldn't live without
1. My mother
2. My family
3. My best friends
4. thats it
5. nope no more

4 things I'm wearing right now
1. silver earings
2. my panda coin ring
3. my nose ring
4. black boots

3 songs that fit my life perfectly
1. lost myself (Lauryn Hill)
2. booty (Erykah Badu)
3. me (erykah badu)

2 things i would like to do before i die
1. Live on "the continent"
2. Have children

1 confession
I think George W. Bush is sexy :-/

First day of winter... winter solstice... the sun rebirth

This upcoming Sunday (the 21st) will mark this years winter solstice in out hemisphere. The significance of the winter solstice is it's the reversal of the gradually lengthening nights and shortening days. This day will be the day of the longest nigth of the year. For three days afer the winter solstice the day the length of day light reaches its mininum. The sun seems to stand stil, after which the days begin to increase in daylight somewhere around Christmas eve and day. Thus the sky will be birthing the sun. Its interesting it falls during Christmas, the birth of the Son of God. Sun, Son. hmmmmm...


I find this inteteresting because this is when we should really be celebrating the new year... since it marks the day of the solar or we could celebrate it during the spring equinox (since that really signifies a time of renewal)

But since we live in a backwards world... Its January 1st a very insignificant day in the dead winter.

I usually don't make New Years resolutions but after recounting all the events and lessons of this year i find it necessary. This year I graduated from college, went almost the entire year without sex, lost two friends and made some new ones. I learned some hard truths about myself and now its time to fix them.

This is year, I can't afford to carry some of the baggage I've been carrying. I have to learn how to truly forgive some. Being over a situation and forgiving someone is 2 completely different things. Now that I have learned that, I have to learn to forgive and let go. I have to learn to become more proactive and multi-task better. I have to stop worrying about the future and over-analyzing things. I must keep the passion and fire I have for life. My body is temple and a dwelling place for God/Goddess and I must try even harder to keep it holy. More whole foods and no intoxicants. I have learn how to prepare food and herbs. I am a manifestation of my creator and I have to keep that at the front of mind. I can because Goddess can.

Im excited about what this new year will bring. During the winter soltice, I'm going to medidate and appreciate those days of darkness. Because out of the darkness comes the light. I'm gonna let my sun (light) be re-born and illuminate, because I've been slacking since I've graduated.

shells and seeds... like that

Shells and Seeds : for BH

We would share sunflower seeds
sitting on the porch above concrete
ditch the shells to get to the center to the best part right to the heart he holds a special place
he was more than a friend
one of those soulmates
now I don’t love him like
your mother loves your father,
like you loved your ex,
like you’ll love your next
but I love him
in a different way
not quite under the sun
but way over the moon
we would spend the entire month of June
hiding and seeking
we would play tag
and I wanted to be it
So I obviously hid
hoping he would find me
but he never did
we just weren’t compatible
when we truth or dared kissed I felt we were judge by shadows
yet we still chased ice cream trucks
search for 4 leaf clovers for luck
until the summer he left me I felt so stuck
But he was worse off
Though without each other we were both lost
life stretched us
in different directions
but some how we found our way back
But I things had changed
time had suffocated our innocence
we were not the same
He came back around
we were reintroduced
and when he returned I asked him what did he learn
he said his dreams had been lynched off of basketball hoops
and he wasn't sure of who he was or his roots
he was unconscious and i was full aware
i had learned to love life he really didn't care
i was full of hope he was full of despair
now he picks seeds out his weed
I collect shells of off the beach
we sit close but still out of reach
we try to relate to one another
as we reminisce with each other
sitting on the porch above concrete
sharing sunflower seeds



LIKE THAT

if i recounted all my secrets
and etched them on slates
and put them on Cupids letter head
like that
if I sent them to you
would u write back
i mean Aaliyah four page it
signed, seal delivered with a kiss,
exactly like that

cuz i want an inconvenient, i didn't know it was gonna rain so, i forgot my umbrella type love
i want an i could live without u, but u make it so much better type love
an unexpected, I found 50 dollars in a puddle imma spend it all on you type love
an up all night, connecting the stars, with the hopes it tells us our story type love
a we so great and relevant, we're in out great grand children's history book, they studying us type love

yeah i want it like that


if it didn't work
would u return me right back
u kno where u found me
would u apologize cuz your love didn't ground me
since I dont wanna fall in love
in love I'd rather stand
boys will be boys
but i just want u to be my man
like sprint, verizon, t-mobile
I'm just trying to be apart of your plan
yeah like that

so will u hold my hand like that
yes smile again... like that
cuz i want it like that

50 questions

Below are 50 (actually 51) getting to know you questions. Feel free to copy and answer in your blog!



1. Were you named after anyone? I got my middle name from a cousin.

2.If you could change your name what would it be? Queen something lol

3. Shoe Size? 8 1/2 - 9

4.If you were a crayon, what color would you be? White, because it never gets used.

5. What colour is your bathroom? purple and green

6.What is your least favorite color and why? grey... its just so blah

7.Favorite Smell? Banana nut bread

8.Favorite Sounds? laughing children an acoustic guitar

9.What is your special talent? creative writing, i think

10.What is the greatest music ever composed? the makings of you... curtis mayfield

11.If you could make a good living doing anything at all, what would that be? helping others to be radiantly healthy and write songs and poems

12. What is the nicest thing a stranger ever did for you? i was feeling like shit one day and this beautiful man walks up to me and "says you are divine, haev a nice day"

13.What do usually eat for breakfast? fruit or kashi cereal with rice milk yum

14.What is your best childhood memory? going to the beach

15. Spicy or mild? spicy

16.Neat or slob? neat

17.Of your five senses, which is your all-time favorite? touch

18.Which is your least favorite season? winter

19.What talent do you have that no one else in your social group has? my 3rd is not blind haha

20.Favorite sesame street character: cookie monster, come on he's blue and cross eyed

21.If you could have an endless supply of any one food, what would you get? fried plaintains

22.If you were an animal, what would you be? black panther... nuff said

23. When you were little, who was your favorite super hero and why? never liked super heros

24. Who is your hero/heroine? my mother

25.What’s your favorite thing to do in the summer? go to the beach

26.What’s your favorite cartoon character, and why? Huey Freeman from the boondocks

27.If you could visit any place in the world, where would you choose to go? Ghana

28. Are you a morning or night person? the goddess gets it in all day hun

29.What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten? vegetarian shrimp

30.Name one of your favorite things about someone in your family: they are all supportive

31.If someone made a movie of your life would it be a drama, a comedy, a romantic-comedy, action film, or sciencefiction? sci fi/ romantic comedy... cuz mane why not

32.I could be anybody besides myself, I would be… i would choose me!

33.Be honest here: What would someone you know, who doesn't like you, say about you? Give the relationship of theenemy to you, eg: ex-husband, mother-in-law, mad woman in the park... i dont have any knwo enemies... and i don;t give a fuck if they did have something

34.How far, approximately in miles, have you travelled from where you live now? turkey... whose measuring

35.Preferred reading genres: holistic health and revolutionaries

36.What single thing would improve the quality of your life? pure air, pure food, daily sex yep i said it

37.Who is the most relevant person in our time? Barack Obama

38. What is the title of the best book you have ever read? Proverbs and Song of Solomon

39. What is the most beautiful thing about people? our diversity

40. What is the ugliest thing you know? hatred

41.What force of history are you most aware of as you plan your life? KEMET's knowledge

42.What thing makes you most humble? the fact that im a small part of a huge puzzle

43.If you could smash one thing and one thing only, what would you smash? "i wanna run smash into you..." beyonce

44.What is the greatest crime one human being can commit against another? acting as if we don;t need each other

45.What do you feel when you stand on the shore of the ocean? On the precipice of a mountain? like im that much closer to getting "home:

46.What is the most beautiful thing you have ever seen? my mother gving birth to me lol

47. What talent should you develop? my intuition

48. What makes you most secure? knowing that GodIs with me at all times

49.What institution is most in need of change? education

50.What is the biggest waste you know of? InnerG

being a cancer

my sun is cancer and so is my moon...

4 Cancer/Cancer
The combination of your Sun sign and your Moon sign, a double dose of Cancer, intensifies the natural traits of the sign and produces an added depth of feelings. You are an extremely emotional and timid person. There is an aloofness about your nature, as though you were waiting in the background for someone to make the first move to establish a relationship. Since most people are caught up in their own problems and often fail to understand this nature, you may feel that you are being ignored and snubbed. It's hard for you to come out of yourself and meet people halfway. It's not that you are self-centered, but you may give the impression that you are by not coming across positively. You are so self-protective and seem to have a shell that you crawl into periodically, or even permanently, as a defense against the intrusions of the world. You are touchy with a keen sense of injury and hurt at real or imagined offenses. You can be very suspicious of people and their motives that can make you unapproachable to many. It takes a long time for someone to win your confidence. Though you are extremely domestic and a very protective parent, you're not likely to marry early and your basic nature can make it hard to achieve a stable and concrete relationship. But when you finally put aside this self-protective shell, you are exceptionally warm and genial, a true old-fashioned romantic. You have a deep sense and sympathy and a need for the same. A clever diplomat, your style is to work around an issue, rarely becoming confrontational and direct.

^^^^ Some of its true.... some of its not, well at least i hope not lol. But there is a science to the zodiac system far more intricate than your weekly newspaper horoscope or those descriptions mentioned supra. You have 12 houses, and there are different planets in each house that influences different aspects of your life. Most people know there sun signs which are pretty much outward expressions. That's why the whole compatibility thing with signs doesn't always work because people only compare their sun signs. Your moon sign is who u are at the core. And then there are 10 other planets...

Goodnight and These are my hands...

goodnight

i ran up the door and closed the stairs
said my pajamas and jumped in my prayers
turned off my bed, and tucked into my light
all because u kissed me tonight.


these are my hands

these jaded fingers
have been pricked, picked and bitten
they wear my anxiety
the spent years
the daunting fears
my gnawing imagination
and the uncertainty of a certain future
"what is to come, will"
yet i bite still

but these are MY fingers,
the fourth finger left hand
that wears a mockery of a wedding band
the right index and middle finger, attentive to my climax
I climb through the uneventful day to reach apex
and then I inevitably descend right back into the same... fingers

I have played in my earth
I have played in the earth
and planted seeds of hope
that will some day bloom
and i will some day pick the fruit
from these hands' work

they are my compasses of life
pointing and directing
receiving and projecting
righting and lefting
gripping and dressing
hitting and caressing

but tonight they are coming together
palm to palm
fingers interlocked like a zipper
pulled together at the web
just praying that you... will hold them for a while